Self-care is umcomfortable and unbeautiful

I read an article the other day about self-care. In the article, self-care looked a lot like treating yourself and pampering: a day at the spa, a tropical vacation, and a shopping spree. It’s almost like the idea of self-care has been commercialized and dare I say… trendy.

Nothing against lavender Epsom salt baths, vanilla scented soy candles, or spending half the day at the spa getting Swedish massages and your nails done, but I think people are misunderstanding what self care really looks like.

You shouldn’t have to take a break to self-care from your life.

Life shouldn’t be lived to the point of complete exhaustion. Because you should be creating and crafting a lifestyle where self-care is so much a part of it, that you don’t even know you are “self-caring”.

Real self-care isn’t about the consumerism tangibles.

It’s pursuing things that which give you joy and life. It’s pursuing passion projects. It’s creating a space for yourself to breathe, and surrounding yourself with a strong and encouraging community when life gets tough and things seem to be as crumbly as apple crumb cake.

Actually, actual self-care is sometimes seriously uncomfortable and unbeautiful.

Self-care looks like staring at the failures and disappointments you’ve have in your life, reevaluating and rethinking, trying to figure out where the piece fits next in your puzzle. It’s re-strategizing, looking at things in new ways, or finding new purpose. Self-care looks like letting go of things and people, making sacrifices, and not satisfying immediate wants.

It’s getting rid of the toxic people in your life—the Negative Nancy’s, the Debbie Downers, the Complaining Cathy’s, the Moody Monica’s who do nothing but add weight and burden to your life, talking down to you in condescending tones.

In a society that promotes self-care, I think people who constantly have to indulge in the commercial aspect of it are actually disconnected from actual self-care. Someone once say to me that treating yourself well has more to do with parenting yourself and making wise choices where your can benefit in the long run; it’s about your long-term wellness rather than the here and now.

Become the hero of your life, instead of the victim of it.

You shouldn’t need salt water therapy to recover from your every day life. Choose a life that feels good and one that you can be proud of, over one that just looks good on paper and social media. Give up on some goals so you can care about things more important and give your time to areas that will bless you back more than you think. Be honest, even though you won’t be the most popular kid in school and won’t have the most followers on Instagram.

MEET YOUR OWN NEEDS.

AVOID ANXIOUSNESS.

CARE FOR YOURSELF, IN THE RIGHT WAY, EVEN THOUGH IT COULD POTENTIALLY SUCK LOTS.

Tropical vacations and salt baths are nice, but they are meant to be enjoyed and not as a form of escape from your current life. Choose real self-care.